Quality Peoples

So I woke up this morning with a terrible stomach ache. bad. like I had a bunch of rocks in my stomach. In the shower I started to get dizzy and nauseous. Something was wrong. I stayed home from work to take it easy, staying close to the bathroom if you catch my drift. I talked to mom, sometime in the morning. I related my symptoms and she was convinced I have Typhoid Fever. A bacterial infection caused by eating unclean food. Both my parents have had “The Fever” and my mom has diagnosed it correctly each time. But I was skeptical.

At lunch time, Marcia came home and we went to the doctor’s office. I related my symptoms to our small town doc. And after a few tests, he promptly diagnosed me with food poisoning. He said get some rest and just in case, we’ll do a blood test for Typhoid. Marcia and I drove up the street to the lab and I got my blood taken. On the way out of the cubicle, my blood pressure started to drop and I became dizzy again. My hearing and vision both started to go (I have chronic low blood pressure, so I’m familiar with most things related).

Marcia helped me into the car where I promptly proceeded to shut down, like an electronic device with no juice left. I could faintly feel Marcia slapping my face and yelling at me. This was no joke, I awoke a few blocks away in a cold sweat and just the deepest of bass notes coming through my ears, as Marcia drove me back to the doctor’s office, it was as if I was 100 feet underwater. We make it back to the doc’s office, just as the dizziness starts to wear off.

The doctor says that I need electrolytes so Marcia buys me some Pedialyte. At this point I’m ok and reading an article about Nike’s founder, as I’m sitting in the doc’s waiting room. I’m coming in and out of it, trying to stay concentrated on something. Marcia goes back to the lab to get my test results and the doc takes my blood pressure. Just a little bit low but nothing to worry about. I wonder to myself what will happen when I stand up again. The doc brings me into his office and proceeds to give me a shot in the ass with some anti-nausea shot. I immediately start to black out and have another episode as my head rests on his desk and I sweat profusely. He once again he takes my blood pressure and its 50/20. ridiculously low. I’m literally green at this point.

Marcia comes back in with the results and sure enough it’s Typhoid Fever. The doc seems a little shocked. He gave me another shot in the ass for the Typhoid and a full army of medicines. And now I’m supposed to be bedridden for three days. So we came home and watched Episode III. It’s the nerd in me.

I’m feeling much better now, but that’s because I’m in a a more or less horizontal position. Every time I get up, I get the spins again, not hardcore but enough to make it hard to get to the bathroom and back.

shee-it.

As a little lesson for other gringos who come after me:

1. get your typhoid vac. before you come down.
2. if you get food poisoning while you are here, make certain to get tested for typhoid. It only takes 20 minutes and it costs 200 pesos.
3. Food poisoning usually comes from uncooked things. like vegetables and salsas. sure, that taco stand looks dodgy but it’s not the meat that’ll get you, it’s the salsas that have been sitting out all day and double-dipped.
4. A lot of people down here actually carry small amounts of Typhoid in their system. not enough to show symptoms but enough to pass it, through exchange of bodily fluids. and unclean hands.
5. Don’t let it get worse. If you feel like you have rocks in your stomach, you may have amebas or you may have Typhoid. Untreated Typhoid can lead to really bad intestinal issues.

technorati tags: typhoid, mexico